Life is too short…..

Hello, Hello,
Belle, It’s me Zh.
Hi Zh, what’s going on?
B’s mom just passed away yestarday in Albania.

These were the words that came from the other side of the phone. I didn’t know if I were dreaming or what I heard was true. The voice kept telling me what exactly happened and that she was going to see our friend. It was 2:30 am when i received this phone call. I was shocked to hear this news that late at night. I didnn’t know what to do considering the time, and plus what could I say and do this late at night. I was sorry to hear such an abrupt news about my friends mom but the worst has already happened and none of us could stop the damage that death has caused in the lives of these dear people. I didn’t go to see my friend right away. I live few blocks away from her so I waited for the morning to come give her a call and stop by for a visit. I dialed the numbers knowing fully well that this conversation was going to be hard, as it happens in situations like this. The voice that responded from the other line was not the one I am used to, I could tell that she has been crying for the loss of the dear mother. My friend knew that her mother had been sick and had been following the health situation from here, but who would have thought that her struggle with life would end so soon. I am talking to my poor friend and as she tells me more about her mother we both start crying over the phone. Our conversation doesn’t last very long because she is packing her stuff and getting ready to fly to Albania in time to wave goodbye to her loved one for the last time. Thank God she is able to visit back and forth without any problems, otherwise it would have been such a horrible situation not to be able to move freely from one country to another.
Since the moment I found about this I have this negative feeling within me. I want to believe that nothing will happen to my mom or my dad, or the rest of my family that I miss so much. But, when we are confronted with death there’s no way you can’t stop and think about life and how fragile it is. I guess that’s what I am doing right now thinking what if…… I don’t like thinking about this unpleasant feeling that is captivating me but I can’t help it. It brings tears to my eyes when I think that our life is like a biscuit that will crumble down at any given moment and boom we’re gone.
I hate this word that begins with d and ends with h. Usually this word doesn’t scare me but apparently today is different. D…..hurt my friend’s mother so why not be afraid of it? It could happen God forbid that sometime in the future I could be hit too. I don’t want to believe it but I know that this is the procedure that we all are going to face one day. Why should we die?? Why can’t we live forever?? Why do we have to go through this unpleasant experience??? So many why’s but no answers, at least for the moment. This happens each time I hear that x person and x years entered new and long journey that is unknown and scary for each one of us.

Belle

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